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so here i sit. a sum of the parts. about a third way down this wonderful path, so to speak. and i’ve been thinking lately about a friendship that fell apart with over achieving goals and perfectionism, and with the misunderstanding of youth. i’m trying not to confuse sadness with regret. not the easiest thing at times. i dont regret that certain things happened. i understand that perhaps i had a choice in the matter, or perhaps i believed in fate. probably not, but so far actions as small as the quickest glance to events as monumental as death have pushed me slowly along to right here, right now. there was no other way to get here. the meandering and erratic path was actually the straightest of lines. take away a handful of angry words, things once thought of as mistakes or regrets, and i’m suddenly a different person with a different history, a different future. that, i would regret. so here i sit. thinking about a person i once called my best friend. Am I afraid I’m missing them or too scared I’m not being missed? Well dear friends, it doesn’t matter since I’m here at this beautiful scene living the present. And I circle the thoughts and let them fall like leaves in autumn. Like waves that do come back to the sea. Like butterflies who peacefully land next to you when you’re quiet. And the thoughts have passed. Like they always do.
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